I used to be cool

I used to be cool.

I used to do fun things. I used to go to plays, I used to do tai chi, I used to see independent films, read books that kept me informed. I used to ski, hike, hang out with friends. I used to have hobbies.

A friend told me that at one of her job interviews, the interviewers just asked a friendly question: What do you like to do for fun? What do you do in your free time? This was one of the questions she actually found to be the most challenging. After five years of a PhD program, this was the question that stumped her.

I realize one day, I will have my life back. But until then, I study a lot. I have approximately three weeks left until my comprehensive exams and I'm not going to lie-- I feel the crunch. I'm okay, but I realize there is much to do.

Did I mention that I am also taking ten hours this semester?

Zen Master

No, I'm not ready at all for the semester to start. Tuesday is the first day of classes and it just dawned on me today that I'm going to have to be a student again. Okay, I know I'm a student, but some of the student responsibilities always sneak up on me. For instance, I was looking at my shelf at work and realized I do not have any notebooks or binders for classes this semester. It just completely slipped my mind.

Studying continues to go well, I try to do a little each day. Recalling and relearning 7 or so classes of work is hard. I was going to say that it is challenging, but I don't think that is descriptive enough. Honestly, it is just really hard. So far, when talking to professors about comprehensive exams, their suggestions and advice have spanned from delusional to zen-like in how to prepare for comps. I'm trying to stick with the zen-like approach as much as possible. The best thing to do is to remain calm and remember this is all a process. It is a process. A long, arduous process.

For those interested, it goes something like this.

February 10: Three hours worth of exams (1 hour for each class-- three stats classes)
February 11: Three hours worth of exams (1 hour for each class-- four measurement classes)
February 11: I finish my exam and then receive a take-home exam (10 page paper-- one week to complete)
February 18: Turn in take-home exam
Some time after February 18, schedule a two-hour block that is somehow convenient for 5 very busy professors and myself so we can sit down and discuss all of the mistakes from my exams... no pressure.

In the mean time, I'm still a student taking 10 credits this semester and I will still be responsible for all papers, projects and tests while I am studying for comps. Sigh.

I will be a zen master once this semester is over.

update

I won't even pretend to catch you up on the last two month it seems pretty hard to do. It involved a trip to Colorado for a dear friend's memorial service, final exams, finals week, a proposal acceptance, a trip to LA with Greg, a train trip to St. Louis for a friend reunion, a trip to southern Kansas for a wedding, a trek back to Iowa, my computer dying, purchasing a new computer, and now I leave tomorrow for a trip to Chicago.

Oh yes, and then there are comprehensive exams for which I have begun the grueling task of reviewing all of my notes for not one, not two, not three... but 7 classes. As if that weren't enough, I am also preparing to write a 10 page take-home exam/ paper (to be completed in the week after my comprehensive exams) for my exams in policy.

In terms of classwork, I only needed 6 hours this semester- I signed up for 10. Overkill.

Proud Owner

One thing I love about being a poor grad student in a college town is that several of my friends are also poor grad students as well. We all experience similar frustrations; no money, heavy work loads, dirty dishes, trying our best to eat well, living in dumpy apartments, experiencing one disappointment after another and somehow just trying to stay sane. We don't have a lot of money and so we become pretty creative. We consign clothes, diligently return cans for the deposits, share groceries, collect coupons, look for sales, walk and bus so as not to put miles on our cars.

When I first moved to town, I met a friend who was willing to barter with me: food for babysitting. She prepared and froze meals for me-- I played with her child. There was no need for money. It worked well for both of us. Recently, she asked me to watch her son again while she and her husband went out. Upon return, she offered the following for payment: cash or their canoe.

I am now the proud owner of a fiberglass canoe. For all intents and purposes (registration) it is handmade. I can't tell you much more than it is a seaworthy green fiberglass canoe, approx 15 feet long with newly caned seats. When I asked why they wanted to part with it, they said because the canoe had trouble steering. They must have seen the look of confusion on my face and so continued to clarify that the canoe had trouble steering ...with two people...with alpha personalities. Enough said.

Storage? I can just keep it on top of my car, right? Year-round?

Generously, I've had offers of storage space that I might take advantage of. Of course, we've had unseasonably warm weather yesterday and today that would be perfect for testing the boat. However, the temps are going to turn and we will probably see our first snow in the next week. But when winter is over... I'm going to have a boat waiting for me!

foreshadowing

I have a final exam and a meeting with my adviser tomorrow. So happy I will be after 4:30 tomorrow!

Sometimes all you can do is laugh

Oops. I sometimes hate auto correct... and the realization that I didn't scrutinize my own work as well as I needed to. At least it made me laugh and not take myself so seriously today!

One of my favorite parts of my daily walk