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Karoline "Dr Chillin' Gangster Hammer"
(and that is just my rapper name)

Alarm Clocks

My bucket-list friends and I demonstrated an unprecedented amount of spontaneity today. Ordinarily we plan our events in advance, but today, we put aside all that we were working on to go out to lunch. Spontaneously. We agreed we should do it more often.

Spring feels so good. Throngs (as much as throngs exist in Iowa) are out in the parks, ped. malls and grassy spaces, bikes are populating the racks on campus. It is as if everyone is emerging into the world again, we made it! We survived winter!

The best part of spring this year is the birds. After living in a high rise in Denver, I could watch birds fly by my apartment, but rarely, did I hear them. Now, they cheerfully wake me every morning, and I couldn't be happier. I always take note of bird calls when I travel. Birds always sound different, like they sing in a different language. When I was in Kenya, I even took a recording on the savanna, the chirping staccato sounded so familiar, but so foreign. The birds here sound dutiful and pleased. Sentinels of the sunrise, they start chirping around 5:30 and make a natural alarm clock. The following poem is one I've always appreciated and think about many mornings.


Poem in Thanks

Lord Whoever, thank you for this air
I'm about to in- and exhale, this hutch
in the woods, the wood for fire,
the light-both lamp and the natural stuff
of leaf-back, fern, and wing.
For the piano, the shovel
for ashes, the moth-gnawed
blankets, the stone-cold water
stone-cold: thank you.
Thank you, Lord, coming for
to carry me here -- where I'll gnash
it out, Lord, where I'll calm
and work, Lord, thank you
for the goddamn birds singing!

-Thomas Lux

I'm Published

A while back, I blogged about wanting something lucky to happen. While I have had several "unlucky" things happen I have also been pleasantly surprised. If you click on this link...you might recognize a name.

That's right... my first publication will be on a public bus!

Our humble berg was recently named a Literary City by UNESCO. It is kind of cool to have a poem published on a bus (rec center/ downtown kiosk) in a Literary City. It will also be displayed at the Arts Festival as well.

Impulse Purchase

I am not an impulse buyer. But this...this was hard to pass up. I mean, I could have chosen the bobble head gnome or the wheelbarrow gnome. I do love the wheelbarrow garden gnome! But I saw the mini garden gnome in the adorable blue hat and I had to have it. He even clutches the side of your flower pot! I couldn't say no. Whereas in Denver, I'd make pleasure purchases of place mats, pillows for my sofa or wine glasses, here I make impulse purchases of $1.50 mini garden gnomes to enhance my living quarters.

A friend and I made a spontaneous decision to stop by Walgreens on a Saturday night to play one of my favorite games (in 5 minutes find the three most random items in Walgreens- I get odd isles, you get even isles...GO!) Two aisles over from the Hannah Montana fuzzy purple guitar Easter baskets, approximately 1 aisle away from the commemorative Barack Obama dishes (WERE $13.99, now $4.99! Hurry, they won't last!), and two shelves above the ceramic blue geese sculpture, I happened upon the gnomes and well, you know what happened next.

I placed two mini garden gnomes on the checkout counter and the service oriented cashier asked, "Did you find everything you were looking for?"

Did I find everything I was looking for? Yes, as a matter of fact, I was scouring Iowa City in search of mini garden gnomes on a Saturday night and THANK MY LUCKY STARS Walgreens was open!

Thursday and Friday

Evidence of what I was describing in my last blog:

Thursday, I was given feedback that a paper I wrote was "Brilliant" and that I should work to publish it.

Friday, I was turned down for the internship I applied to. I'm fine with the decision and will work part time over the summer, take poetry classes, maybe take a class for my coursework and enjoy the lazy days of summer. Word on the street is that Iowa City is a fabulous place to spend June, July and August.

In other news, look at what Iowa did.
Go Iowa!

The Humble Learner

Yes, I've been noticeably quite. It is just that I've also been noticeably inundated with work. I've reported throughout this semester of the saga of the 13 hours, and without a doubt, I admit that I will never do this again. While I try to keep up, it is hard and my work has suffered. Well maybe not suffered, just is not meeting the high expectations I've set for myself. Although, at this point in the semester, I believe most of my classmates are in the same boat. Grad school will take what ever you want to give and at some point you have to say, enough is enough. You realize you could revise a paper one more time, you realize you could search one more hour for the perfect article, you can shore up your arguments, you could read the "optional" readings. But at some point, you realize that you can't. It is not humanly possible to give your all on everything in grad school. As my dear office-mate said, "B's get PhDs too." And sometimes just turning in survival work is all that can be done. I think we are all at that point.

Interestingly though, if given the choice between the stress I experienced as a teacher versus the stress I experience as a grad student, I'd pick the grad student every time. It is a different quality of stress. Grad school stress doesn't make me feel like I'm running around with my head cut off (usually), it does not cause anxiety (for the most part). It is a pressure that motivates me, forces me to roll with the punches, requires me to let go of my disappointments, remain focused on the future and most important of all, it makes me stop and realize...

WOW. I AM LEARNING A LOT.

I've also discovered that I can't take disappointment personally, and I can't be prideful in my accomplishments. Just when I think I have made a major accomplishment, the next day, my ego will be checked by some disappointment. Humility is the way to go, and honestly it is so much easier to be a humble learner than a haughty learner.