Today was a lucky day for two of my friends, one got a paper accepted to a journal, the other passed her comps. I couldn't help thinking that I wish something "lucky" would happen to me. Receiving communication from an internship to which I applied would be nice. Reading positive feedback on my paper would suffice. Really, I'm not picky.
Then on the bus ride home, my wishes were jolted back into perspective as I spoke with a man on the bus. I sat in the one remaining seat and we chit chatted about the weather. I could tell he is not the usual ridership that takes the bus to the predominantly student neighborhoods. Names were not shared, but his story was. The weather was causing literal pains in his neck from an old injury. With candor, he narrated the "the runaround" he had received from the VA here. I told him I'm sorry he felt he was getting the runaround. And then he told me he tried to OD on oxycontin last week because he wanted to die but "woke up at four in the morning still alive." You never really know what is going on in other peoples' lives.
The VA no longer supplies him with oxycontin.
I suppose just being alive is lucky.
Blogs of Note
About Me
- Karoline
- Here you'll read musings of a forty-something woman trying to find sense and make sanity. Writing for pleasure was a casualty of my PhD years. Academic writing killed a lot of my inspiration and joy for the written word. Some of you followed my grad life as I clung tooth and nail to some semblance of sporadically managed blog. Many of you who've known my past writing and poetry still ask about it. Even though I mumbled some excuse about not having time to write, your inquiries were gentle reminders of what I have to share and that people want to listen. So, here is my new blog, six years in the making: The Tao of Karoline. I'm not out for clicks or traffic. I'm not giving advice, or cultivating "my personal brand"; there's enough of that in the world. I'm just writing...because I enjoy it, again, finally...and thought some of you might too.
1 comment:
Thank you for sharing that story. I can't help but thinking that this man is going to have a hard time from here on out. Not only do people often look at you and your situation differently after attempting suicide, but he will have a hard time finding treatment for his pain. There are not many pain medications that many physicians would feel comfortable prescribing to someone that attempted to overdose on one of them.
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