The Humble Learner

Yes, I've been noticeably quite. It is just that I've also been noticeably inundated with work. I've reported throughout this semester of the saga of the 13 hours, and without a doubt, I admit that I will never do this again. While I try to keep up, it is hard and my work has suffered. Well maybe not suffered, just is not meeting the high expectations I've set for myself. Although, at this point in the semester, I believe most of my classmates are in the same boat. Grad school will take what ever you want to give and at some point you have to say, enough is enough. You realize you could revise a paper one more time, you realize you could search one more hour for the perfect article, you can shore up your arguments, you could read the "optional" readings. But at some point, you realize that you can't. It is not humanly possible to give your all on everything in grad school. As my dear office-mate said, "B's get PhDs too." And sometimes just turning in survival work is all that can be done. I think we are all at that point.

Interestingly though, if given the choice between the stress I experienced as a teacher versus the stress I experience as a grad student, I'd pick the grad student every time. It is a different quality of stress. Grad school stress doesn't make me feel like I'm running around with my head cut off (usually), it does not cause anxiety (for the most part). It is a pressure that motivates me, forces me to roll with the punches, requires me to let go of my disappointments, remain focused on the future and most important of all, it makes me stop and realize...

WOW. I AM LEARNING A LOT.

I've also discovered that I can't take disappointment personally, and I can't be prideful in my accomplishments. Just when I think I have made a major accomplishment, the next day, my ego will be checked by some disappointment. Humility is the way to go, and honestly it is so much easier to be a humble learner than a haughty learner.